Human Error

The inability to realize
that no matter what our
religion or gender or race
or geographic background,
we all have about 98 percent
in common with each other.
Yes, the differences between
male and female are biological,
but if you look at the biology
as a matter of percentage,
there aren’t a whole lot of
things that are different.
Race is different purely as a
social construction, not as
an inherent difference. And
religion – whether you believe
in God or Yahweh or Allah or
something else, odds are that
at heart you want the same
things. For whatever reason,
we like to focus on the
2 percent that’s different,
and most of the conflict
in the world comes from that.

– pg 77, Every Day by David Levithan

Cruising

What’s going on with my life since my last post? Was I able to enroll? Are the professors giving me hell? Am I regretting my choice of going back to school?

School started a few weeks ago (and I guess you can infer that, yes, I was able to enroll YEY : ) , but the enrollment process has been THE most tiring and frustrating one I’ve ever had to encounter in my life.), and everything’s just going steady and smooth.

I’m taking both French and Spanish classes, but I wasn’t able to enroll in the classes that I should take to continue on with what I already took up in Ateneo because the European Languages Department at UP said that I had to go back a week after the regular enrollment schedule to ask (again) if I can take the classes that I needed to take. If they decide that I can enroll, I have to take a placement test. But here’s the thing, they’re not sure that I’m going to have a slot left by the time that I would’ve gone back to talk to them because regular enrollment finished already, and when I saw the slots on the computer, there were only 1 or 2 slots left in all the classes. So, the woman who I talked to just advised me to take the basic classes again for review and mastery. So, that’s what I’m doing now.

My schedule’s pretty light. My classes are from Tuesdays to Fridays. My day starts at 10:00am, and I get off at 2:30pm everyday. Not bad at all. I’ve made a few friends, but I don’t hang out  with them during my break because they have their own schedules, cliques, etc… I’m fine with that. I’ve always been the type of person that likes to be with people but can also survive when I’m on my own. During my break, which is an hour and a half, if my best friend is free, we have lunch together or I usually go to the nearest Starbucks to rewrite my notes, do homework, fix my schedule, read, draw…whatever really.

I’ve joined two organizations in UP: Le Club Français and UP Dancesport Society. I can’t wait for the org activities to start because then at least I’ll have more things to do, and I get to meet new people which is always a plus.

Hmmmm what else? Aside from school, I’m still dancing yyeeeeey! I’m rehearsing with Miss Jill Ngo, the best belly dancer in the country, for a belly dance recital on October 11! I’m really excited for that one : )

But right now, I’m just cruising, really. I’ve set my mind to think and focus on my goals everyday, and I feel like I’m at a good place right now. We’ll see.

‘Til the next entry, xoxo

 

#ThoughtsBeforeBedtime

every night, i pray to keep my dad healthy, my mom patient, my sister happy, my brother safe, my older sister strong, and my other brother loved. And I just realized that I’ve been praying about other people for the past years more than I’ve had time to stop and think and pray about myself. What do I need? What characteristic do I need to stick to? I’ve been the saddest of sad for a week or two now and I think I understand that I haven’t given myself enough time to breath and stop and also think about me. I keep doing the 10 deep breaths thing since yesterday, and that actually does help a lot. I feel like tomorrow (because I feel like another day or two, i’m going to burst and just can’t handle it all), i just need to write down what i need to do about me and what’s going on around me to have a sense of order, and to understand more others’ points of view aside from my own.

Back to School Jitters

You guys have no idea about the internal battle happening inside me right now. I’ve been literally exclaiming “AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH” out loud every hour or so, especially when I’m about to go to sleep, and whoever is around me starts to think I’m crazy.

The last time I took a French class was two years ago, and my last Spanish class was a year ago. If you don’t already know, I’ve decided to go back to school this year at the University of the Philippines. I’ll be taking French and/or Spanish units to qualify for an MA program in the same university.  I am stressing myself out too much; I’m not even kidding.

Let me just type my thoughts down for my peace of mind. Okay. I have a post somewhere here entitled Don’t Let the Voices in Your Head Ruin YouRightly so! But, the voices in mine have multiplied in number and it’s difficult for me to just ssssshhhh them. You know what I mean?

One keeps saying “you’re going to embarrass yourself” – because I don’t know what it is about me, every new school year, I always find a way to embarrass myself. HAHAHA. I think it’s more of a reminder than a taunt. In Tony the Tiger’s words, g-r-r-reat!. HA. 

One keeps saying “your teachers are going to despise you” – but if the language professors in UP are anything like the ones in Ateneo (minus my French 5 professor – she was the ultimate worst – or if they are like her, then cool I’ve had my training), I’ll be so happy!

One keeps saying “your classmates are going to make fun of your lack of knowledge of French/Spanish vocabulary” – gulp! I’ve seen how different UP and Ateneo teaches languages. In UP, the language they choose is their major! It’s what they eat, drink, and breath all day errday. In Ateneo, it’s just a minor course. So, unlike UP where they’re hardcore learning everyday, Ateneo only offers classes every other day and I’m guessing fewer hours than UP. Dear classmates, no biting s’il vous plaît! 

Aside from that, I’ve only been freaking about that for like 20% of my time. The 80% is focused on “ARE THEY GOING TO LET ME ENROLL? I HOPE THERE WASN’T ANY MISCOMMUNICATION FROM THE LAST TIME I WENT TO ASK IF I CAN ENROLL. THEY TOLD ME TO GO BACK ON AUGUST 4 RIGHT? SO THAT’S WHAT I’M GOING TO DO. PLEASE GOD DON’T LET THEM CHANGE THE RULES OR WHATEVER” Literally THIS in my head for the past week.

I just really really really want the first day to be quick and painless. First day of classes is on August 7, and I’m going down to Manila on the 3rd! It’s like I want to get over with it already, but I want to just have my own pause button and postpone going back to school. I’ve never been the type of person to handle nervousness properly. Help?

Anyway, I just needed to get that out to help me process my thoughts more. I am a crazy wreck right now! Wish me luck, you guys!