You guys have no idea about the internal battle happening inside me right now. I’ve been literally exclaiming “AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH” out loud every hour or so, especially when I’m about to go to sleep, and whoever is around me starts to think I’m crazy.
The last time I took a French class was two years ago, and my last Spanish class was a year ago. If you don’t already know, I’ve decided to go back to school this year at the University of the Philippines. I’ll be taking French and/or Spanish units to qualify for an MA program in the same university. I am stressing myself out too much; I’m not even kidding.
Let me just type my thoughts down for my peace of mind. Okay. I have a post somewhere here entitled Don’t Let the Voices in Your Head Ruin You. Rightly so! But, the voices in mine have multiplied in number and it’s difficult for me to just ssssshhhh them. You know what I mean?
One keeps saying “you’re going to embarrass yourself” – because I don’t know what it is about me, every new school year, I always find a way to embarrass myself. HAHAHA. I think it’s more of a reminder than a taunt. In Tony the Tiger’s words, g-r-r-reat!. HA.
One keeps saying “your teachers are going to despise you” – but if the language professors in UP are anything like the ones in Ateneo (minus my French 5 professor – she was the ultimate worst – or if they are like her, then cool I’ve had my training), I’ll be so happy!
One keeps saying “your classmates are going to make fun of your lack of knowledge of French/Spanish vocabulary” – gulp! I’ve seen how different UP and Ateneo teaches languages. In UP, the language they choose is their major! It’s what they eat, drink, and breath all day errday. In Ateneo, it’s just a minor course. So, unlike UP where they’re hardcore learning everyday, Ateneo only offers classes every other day and I’m guessing fewer hours than UP. Dear classmates, no biting s’il vous plaît!
Aside from that, I’ve only been freaking about that for like 20% of my time. The 80% is focused on “ARE THEY GOING TO LET ME ENROLL? I HOPE THERE WASN’T ANY MISCOMMUNICATION FROM THE LAST TIME I WENT TO ASK IF I CAN ENROLL. THEY TOLD ME TO GO BACK ON AUGUST 4 RIGHT? SO THAT’S WHAT I’M GOING TO DO. PLEASE GOD DON’T LET THEM CHANGE THE RULES OR WHATEVER” Literally THIS in my head for the past week.
I just really really really want the first day to be quick and painless. First day of classes is on August 7, and I’m going down to Manila on the 3rd! It’s like I want to get over with it already, but I want to just have my own pause button and postpone going back to school. I’ve never been the type of person to handle nervousness properly. Help?
Anyway, I just needed to get that out to help me process my thoughts more. I am a crazy wreck right now! Wish me luck, you guys!