every night, i pray to keep my dad healthy, my mom patient, my sister happy, my brother safe, my older sister strong, and my other brother loved. And I just realized that I’ve been praying about other people for the past years more than I’ve had time to stop and think and pray about myself. What do I need? What characteristic do I need to stick to? I’ve been the saddest of sad for a week or two now and I think I understand that I haven’t given myself enough time to breath and stop and also think about me. I keep doing the 10 deep breaths thing since yesterday, and that actually does help a lot. I feel like tomorrow (because I feel like another day or two, i’m going to burst and just can’t handle it all), i just need to write down what i need to do about me and what’s going on around me to have a sense of order, and to understand more others’ points of view aside from my own.