Stop Telling Me I’m Drunk

Stop telling me I’m drunk so you think you have an excuse to touch me. I don’t need you holding my hand while I get a glass of water. I don’t need you to help me sit back down. I don’t need you touching my shoulders to “help” me sit up straight. I especially don’t need you caressing my head while I dozed off. I am not drunk.

Stop telling me I’m drunk so you have an excuse to say that I need you. Why is it so hard for you to believe something like this:
“I guess I’m just the type of girl who doesn’t need to depend on a guy”
because all you said was:
“haha yeah right. Whatever. You’re going to eat your words.”
No matter how many times I said “I’m okay. Really”, and no matter how many times you’ve seen me move about the room soberly (going to the restroom, getting a glass of water, changing the music playlist), you insist that I need your help, like I’m a 6 year old girl who can’t decide for herself. Why?
I am not drunk.

Stop telling me I’m drunk so you have an excuse to follow me around to make sure “I’m okay”.
“Let me just stay right here beside you.”
“No, it’s okay. You can go back in. I just wan’t to look at the sky.”
“Haha. Don’t be stupid. Should I lie beside you now?”
I am not drunk.

Stop telling me I’m drunk to come up with stories about you and I. I didn’t tell the room about whatever non-existent past we had. I was completely aware of what I was saying, no matter how slurred they may have seemed to you. I asked one of our friends if I’ve said anything. She said, “Uh, no.” Stop putting words in my mouth. I am not drunk.

Stop telling me I’m drunk to blame me for “coming on to you”. I in no way “came on to you”. All I’ve said (not even remotely close to coming on is), “Come on and join the game!!!!!!” You said I kept touching you. HA. HAHAHAHA. The only touching I did was the same touching I did to everybody else – put my hands on all of your shoulders to either get your attention or to let you guys know I was passing behind you. I am not drunk.

Stop telling me I’m drunk so that you have an excuse to criticize me about my body. “Oh wow, you have a lot of stretch marks.” “Your breasts look small.” “You do squats? HAHAHA….ok, sure.”
I don’t know if you’ve said those things hoping that I would forget them the next day. I am not drunk.

Stop telling me I’m drunk to make my ‘NO’ sound meaningless. No, I do not want to kiss you. No, I do not want to date you. No, I do not need a hug.
“hahaha, ok. sure…..but, can I at least have a kiss?”
Didn’t you just ask me that, and didn’t I just say no?
I am not drunk.

Stop telling me I’m drunk to make whatever you wanted to happen justifiable.

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“There’s a fork in the road. What now?”

…. is exactly the thing that I fear most right now. I literally have one foot on one road and one foot on another, and I hope there will never come a time where I have to choose which road to continue on and which one to leave behind.

One road I’m on is the decent one, the one that everyone is expected to take. I’m studying French and Spanish right now because I think that it will totally help with my career in the international relations field. I want to master both languages and maybe take a Masters degree in one (or two HAHAHA I know…) But, I definitely want to work for the Department of Tourism. Those are the main points in my career path. For the sub-points, I’ll just have to figure those out as I go along.

The other road is the road less traveled. Yup, dance. I’ve decided to be a bellydance apprentice under the tutelage of the best bellydance mentor in the country, Miss Jill Ngo. Also, I, along with a few of my friends, were offered a dance scholarship under our dancesport coach, Miss Belinda Adora. I am so grateful and excited for both these opportunities because they’ve both expressed great interest in investing in my talents and would want to continue in honing my skills. I totally cannot pass these up!

If I were to choose which one to keep without any consequences, I’d choose dance for sure. No hesitation. But, why not just continue on with that from the start, right? Don’t get me wrong, the career path I want to take is something that I’m passionate in as well. I’ve just had dance occupy my heart more.

But, here’s my thought process: I have it laid out in my head that if I have a career plan, and a solid one at that, meaning something I know that I can stick to, and show my parents that I can be mature and responsible in working hard and focusing on that road, then there is no way that they can say I can’t dance. If I can do both, and I know I can, I have to, then why not.

As I’ve mentioned in the start, the fear of maybe having to ultimately choose one at the end is a very daunting task. This is the time that I need to be strong and determined, more than I’ve ever been my whole life. If I lose my career path, I wouldn’t know what my parents would say and I wouldn’t also know how to feel that I let something important to me go. If I lose my dance path, that will be the total destruction of my entire being (lol over acting, I know, but it’s true).

I know people can’t have it all, but I’m determined to at least have these two together side by side until when the crows turn white.

Cruising

What’s going on with my life since my last post? Was I able to enroll? Are the professors giving me hell? Am I regretting my choice of going back to school?

School started a few weeks ago (and I guess you can infer that, yes, I was able to enroll YEY : ) , but the enrollment process has been THE most tiring and frustrating one I’ve ever had to encounter in my life.), and everything’s just going steady and smooth.

I’m taking both French and Spanish classes, but I wasn’t able to enroll in the classes that I should take to continue on with what I already took up in Ateneo because the European Languages Department at UP said that I had to go back a week after the regular enrollment schedule to ask (again) if I can take the classes that I needed to take. If they decide that I can enroll, I have to take a placement test. But here’s the thing, they’re not sure that I’m going to have a slot left by the time that I would’ve gone back to talk to them because regular enrollment finished already, and when I saw the slots on the computer, there were only 1 or 2 slots left in all the classes. So, the woman who I talked to just advised me to take the basic classes again for review and mastery. So, that’s what I’m doing now.

My schedule’s pretty light. My classes are from Tuesdays to Fridays. My day starts at 10:00am, and I get off at 2:30pm everyday. Not bad at all. I’ve made a few friends, but I don’t hang out  with them during my break because they have their own schedules, cliques, etc… I’m fine with that. I’ve always been the type of person that likes to be with people but can also survive when I’m on my own. During my break, which is an hour and a half, if my best friend is free, we have lunch together or I usually go to the nearest Starbucks to rewrite my notes, do homework, fix my schedule, read, draw…whatever really.

I’ve joined two organizations in UP: Le Club Français and UP Dancesport Society. I can’t wait for the org activities to start because then at least I’ll have more things to do, and I get to meet new people which is always a plus.

Hmmmm what else? Aside from school, I’m still dancing yyeeeeey! I’m rehearsing with Miss Jill Ngo, the best belly dancer in the country, for a belly dance recital on October 11! I’m really excited for that one : )

But right now, I’m just cruising, really. I’ve set my mind to think and focus on my goals everyday, and I feel like I’m at a good place right now. We’ll see.

‘Til the next entry, xoxo

 

Back to School Jitters

You guys have no idea about the internal battle happening inside me right now. I’ve been literally exclaiming “AAAAGGGGGGHHHHH” out loud every hour or so, especially when I’m about to go to sleep, and whoever is around me starts to think I’m crazy.

The last time I took a French class was two years ago, and my last Spanish class was a year ago. If you don’t already know, I’ve decided to go back to school this year at the University of the Philippines. I’ll be taking French and/or Spanish units to qualify for an MA program in the same university.  I am stressing myself out too much; I’m not even kidding.

Let me just type my thoughts down for my peace of mind. Okay. I have a post somewhere here entitled Don’t Let the Voices in Your Head Ruin YouRightly so! But, the voices in mine have multiplied in number and it’s difficult for me to just ssssshhhh them. You know what I mean?

One keeps saying “you’re going to embarrass yourself” – because I don’t know what it is about me, every new school year, I always find a way to embarrass myself. HAHAHA. I think it’s more of a reminder than a taunt. In Tony the Tiger’s words, g-r-r-reat!. HA. 

One keeps saying “your teachers are going to despise you” – but if the language professors in UP are anything like the ones in Ateneo (minus my French 5 professor – she was the ultimate worst – or if they are like her, then cool I’ve had my training), I’ll be so happy!

One keeps saying “your classmates are going to make fun of your lack of knowledge of French/Spanish vocabulary” – gulp! I’ve seen how different UP and Ateneo teaches languages. In UP, the language they choose is their major! It’s what they eat, drink, and breath all day errday. In Ateneo, it’s just a minor course. So, unlike UP where they’re hardcore learning everyday, Ateneo only offers classes every other day and I’m guessing fewer hours than UP. Dear classmates, no biting s’il vous plaît! 

Aside from that, I’ve only been freaking about that for like 20% of my time. The 80% is focused on “ARE THEY GOING TO LET ME ENROLL? I HOPE THERE WASN’T ANY MISCOMMUNICATION FROM THE LAST TIME I WENT TO ASK IF I CAN ENROLL. THEY TOLD ME TO GO BACK ON AUGUST 4 RIGHT? SO THAT’S WHAT I’M GOING TO DO. PLEASE GOD DON’T LET THEM CHANGE THE RULES OR WHATEVER” Literally THIS in my head for the past week.

I just really really really want the first day to be quick and painless. First day of classes is on August 7, and I’m going down to Manila on the 3rd! It’s like I want to get over with it already, but I want to just have my own pause button and postpone going back to school. I’ve never been the type of person to handle nervousness properly. Help?

Anyway, I just needed to get that out to help me process my thoughts more. I am a crazy wreck right now! Wish me luck, you guys!

Don’t Let The Voices In Your Head Ruin You

The first half of  my 2014 has been crazy different! I’ve quit my teaching job last March. It was a bittersweet feeling. I’m totally going to miss seeing my students and their wtf-are-you-doing-stop-now ways. Despite the fact that they gave me stress pimples and showed me veins that I didn’t know could pop out of my neck and forehead, I learned to love and care for all 48 of them.

After that, I took my first ever dance workshop with Douglas Nierras’ Powerdance. (A little background about them, they are THE best contemporary dance group in the Philippines. They are currently in Europe now for their dance tour! Europe + dance!!? Are you kidding me? That’s the dream. HAHA.) The workshop lasted for about 5 weeks, every Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 2pm-7m (although, when we were nearing our recital date, it was from 10am-til whatever. ok). There were three workshop that we could take: ballroom, hiphop, and jazz. I took classes in all fields, and it was the most draining & challenging thing I’ve ever done physically. During the workshop process, member of Powerdance expressed their desire to let me join their group!! Imagine that! But…more on that later.

And now we’re here in the present. I’ve decided to go back to school this August. I’m going to be taking undergrad courses in French and/or Spanish to accomplish the requirements needed to take a masters degree in those languages.  I’ve only been seriously reviewing the French and Spanish lessons I took up when I was in college recently (meaning last week) to prep myself for what I imagine to be something so competitive and challenging – especially since i’ll be studying in the University of the Philippines and with people who have been studying languages everyday for hours on end.

I’ve been really looking forward to going back to school (especially school supplies shopping! haha Call me weird but I find satisfaction in having new notebooks, pads of paper, pens…the works!)  Not until last night when a sudden wave of doubt hit me and I didn’t see it coming. Don’t you just hate that? I was about to fall asleep when suddenly the voices in your head whisper “You’re going to fail”. Oh gee, thanks a bunch!

Same thing happened when I was offered to join Powerdance. I always told them I’d think about it, which I’ve already done the moment one of them asked me. I was screaming “YES!!!!” in my head, but there were the voices again that screamed louder than I did, that my ‘yes’ turned out to be a whisper.

They say that you are your worst critic, right? That has been so true for me for years. I’ve let myself become slave to the voices in my head … to me – my doubts, my fears, my concerns, my negativity, and that has stopped me from doing a lot of things that I wish I should’ve done at that time. I feel like the old version of myself would let my once resounding ‘yes’ continue to fade into nothingness and let myself believe that I am going to fail going back to school even before I’ve attended a single class.

But now, I’m 21 years old, and I’ve experienced things that I would only dream of doing. However scary both future experiences may be, I am not the version of me that would let these slip away for sure. Like what I’ve said, the first half of this year has been crazy different. I feel like I’ve had a good amount of time to dip myself into a myriad of things until moving on to the next one.

Before I decided to type out my feelings and concerns, I dreaded having the sliver of doubt pop up in my head. I’ve learned that something so small and simple can ultimately ruin someone if you let it. But, now as I’m nearing the end of this post, I’ve realized that those kinds of thoughts can be a good thing. In a way, for me at least, it pushes you to make sure that you don’t make those thoughts from happening. Despite how scary it may be and how heavy it feels to think that you won’t be able to make it even before you’ve tried, I feel that that it builds character. Like what I’ve mentioned, the old me wouldn’t have even dared to counter the voices in my head. The me right now however is this version you’re reading telling the voices to piss off.

And at the end of it all, after you’ve been through everything, you’ll realize that it wasn’t so scary after all.

Summer 2013

I’ve been MIA for a couple of days because I haven’t had the time to blog or I couldn’t think of anything interesting to blog about. lol. Anyway, I’d just like to share to you guys my trip last week with a few of my friends.

I was living the modern island life from April 11-16. We went to Boracay, a really famous island in our country (you guys should go there for vacation!!! :D)  from the 11th-14th and travelled to Antique (a province in the Philippines) and stayed there from the 14th-16th. It was a much needed vacation after all the college stress and what not, and I’m glad I got to spend time with my girls, so that’s a plus! 🙂

Here are pictures from our trip!

DSC03909We spent our first day just chilling by the beach. We were still waiting for two of our friends to arrive later that night. 

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You can’t ask for anything more. 

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Our succeeding days was always filled with activities. First up, we went snorkelling. Props to my friend, Zeh, for this picture! 

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The rest of the group…bubbles everywhere! lol 

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This experience deserves two thumbs up! 

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After snorkelling, our tour guide brought us to a different part of the island. The view was just breathtaking, I mean, all you could see was the sea, sure, but the color and the calmness of it all…just priceless. 

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I’d love to wake up to this everyday. That’s me with by London Buddy, Trisha 🙂 

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After taking the pics above, we decided to swim in the beach 

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An artsy fartsy-ish picture for you guys HAHA That’s Trisha, Sophie and Karen reflected on my sunglasses from F21. 

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Next up, we went Helmet Diving. The only downside to this activity is that the pressure on your ears hurt like hell! It goes away though, so don’t worry 🙂 

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After all the activities for that day, we decided to have a staged chicken fight lol 

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We chose to chill by the beach while waiting for the party to start 

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And of course, a trip out with your girls wouldn’t be complete without going to a party! 

The next few days on the island was just spent chilling, walking around, eating, and a bunch of other activities which we failed to document. lol After our stay in Boracay, we took a boat ride to the main island and drove for an hour or so to Antique.

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We went on a mini trek twice. The first one was to see the end of a river, I think (LOL), the second one was to see the Bugtong Bato Waterfall. 

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Our guide climbed the Coconut tree, cut off a few branches and voilà! Fresh coconut! 🙂 
544072_10151335232767245_983292575_nIt was so yummy! 🙂 

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This was taken on our second day in the province. Like I said earlier, we went on another trek to reach the falls. 

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The water was freezing cold, but it felt so nice to be in it. Our photographer had a part of her finger on the camera lens, hence the picture haha

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After the trek, we had lunch and went kayaking on the slightly flowing river. The river was too shallow, as in our kayaks were just hitting the rocks, but nonetheless, it was a fun experience 🙂 

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This is a Kawa. It’s like a hot bath. They filled it with really really hot water and leaves and flowers that smell heavenly. We wanted to create an ad like picture. Were we successful? haha

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Sophie and I were directly above the fire so we could really feel the heat. 

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After the hot bath, we went to another place where they had a Fish Spa. The fishes nibble on you removing dead skin. At first it’s really ticklish, like you can’t even imagine, but later on, you won’t even feel a thing. I highly recommend this!

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On April 16, it was time to say goodbye to the chill life. 

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Those couple of days spent with the best people ever was more than I could ever ask for. I enjoyed their company and all the activities that we did together. I’m looking forward to the day when we’ll all have enough money to have vacations outside the country. HAHA Time to save up, girls. Next up, Europe. (Hey, a girl can dream, right? 😉 )

Til The Next Entry,

xoxo
Samantha Jean

P.S. pictures taken by Zeh, Diana and myself

Officially Unemployed!

I did it, you guys! I graduated! I am officially done with college 🙂 Bad news is, I am now officially unemployed, and I still don’t know what to do from now on. But maybe a separate post on that when it’ll really sink in. HA.

I graduated twice, one graduation ceremony for my minors and one ceremony for my major.

March 21st – Minors Graduation
I minored in French and Hispanic Studies. I wasn’t even sure why I chose these languages.  I dove into class not knowing anything, and now, I’d like to humbly say I can at least keep up in a basic, slow-ish, conversation. I sometimes even can understand lyrics or films. NOTE: sometimes. I think I know my stuff. HAHA. I just panic when I have to speak to legit french and spanish speaking people. I’ve only been studying the languages for two years! Give me a break!

I’d like to continue studying, though. I might just enroll myself into the French and Spanish institutions we have here in the Manila (after I study and master whatever I learned Uni! hihi)

And now, pictures for you lovely people! 🙂

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This is me receiving my certificate for completing my minor in Hispanic Studies with my professor, the dean of the School of Humanities and a man from the Spanish Embassy (I forgot his name!)

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Here’s a picture of me receiving my certificate for completing my minor for French Studies. 

IMG_3751Con una de mis profesores favoritos, Luisa Young. Elle étais mon professeur en français 1, français 4, espagnol 2, 3, et 4. Gracias, Señorita! 

IMG_3753Con mi profesora en Español 1, Señora Heide Aquino. Gracias, Señora!

IMG_3757Avec notre professeur en français deux, JC Uy. Merci! 

IMG_3759Avec notre professeur en français 5, Mme. Soriano. She was one of the most difficult professors I’ve had, not because the course was hard but because she was hard to deal with. I’m glad to say I survived your class, Mme!

IMG_3761With Mommy Bau! She was never my teacher but she chaperoned us, along with one more professor, when we went on a Study Tour to France 🙂

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These are our ever supportive blockmates and friend. (Seated farthest from the left, Sam, Standing: Mima, Ynna and Aiko.  They’re not yet graduating because Sam’s course is a 5th year one and the ladies standing studied abroad so they got delayed a semester and decided to apply for more minors so they will never leave Ateneo, ever. WHYY haha)

They cheered like basketball fans whenever a member of my block got called in front. Thank you so much for that, you guys! I’ve never felt so loved and supported ever in my life. :’) I’ve just the best friends anyone could ever ask for. 

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LtoR: Diana, Aiko, Zeh, Mima, Me, and Cha

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with my mom and dad 🙂 I hope I made you proud, parents! (even if I YOLOed the past 4 years. lol)

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With the people who I share this experience with. See you in Europe, guys! 😉 

March 22nd – Official day of Ateneo kicking us out of school. “LOL, Bye, Bitches”

I didn’t want that day to come. I didn’t want to graduate, but I don’t want to go back to school either. HAHA. It’s been 5 days already and I totally miss everyone.

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With my family 🙂 I did it, you guys!

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Being the girls that we are, we wanted to remove our togas to show off our dresses..

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and here they are! 😀

IMG_3864With our department secretary, Ms. Kai Lopez. She’s so kind and sweet. I’m going to miss her so much!

IMG_3877Block G1 represent!

IMG_3891With my Professor in various classes, Sir BJ Enverga. We have a running joke in the European Studies Program. He teaches so many EU classes that it’s impossible for you to not have a ‘minor’ under him. I’m still waiting for my certificate! 

IMG_3926We did it! 🙂 Thank you for making college more bearable.

IMG_3922Congratulations to us, babies! 

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I still say we are THE DREAM TEAM.

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No matter what, we’ll be there for each other, forever… 

IMG_3934Thank you for past 4 years. Looking forward to the 80+years ahead with all of you.
Just like John and Savannah, we will never say Goodbye. We will only say, ‘I’ll see you soon, then?’

Thank you, Ateneo for the most interesting four years of my life.

Thank you, G1. Each of you taught me different things, and I’m glad that I became a better, stronger, more independent person because of you guys. I will never forget the fights, the laughs, the tears, etc…that we all shared. I know that I can go to any of you and ask for help or share whatever story I have. I’m totally going to miss each and every one of you. I love you.

Thank you, ADSC. Thank you for trusting me to lead the club (even if I didn’t believe in myself). Thank you for being patient with me and adjusting to how I handle things. I am so proud of each and everyone of your for doing your best. I hope that you guys will keep on dancing, and I can’t wait to visit you guys soon!

Thank you, Marco. You’ve made my last year in the Ateneo special. I’m glad that we both took the same Spanish class. I’m glad I got to slap you in our Spanish play. HAHA. I’m glad that despite me turning you down the first try, you didn’t give up. Thank you for the past year. Looking forward to finally fulfilling our adventures.

Thank you to my professors. Thank you for pushing me to work harder. Thank you for caring for me if I didn’t submit a requirement that was at par with the previous ones that I submitted. Thank you for teaching me to always think for myself and to always think for others.

Thank you to my parents and siblings for the continuous love and support. I’ve told my parents a billion times that I wanted to quit Ateneo and just go back to my hometown. Thank you, mom and dad, for talking me out of it. I don’t want to promise anything. I wish for you guys to understand that I want to do something that’ll make me happy…(and be with someone who makes me happy.) I just wish that I’ve made you guys proud.

Lastly, thank you to Him. Thank you for continually guiding me and being there for me during the times I’ve wanted to give up. I’ve hung on to you countless of times. Thank you for allowing me to do that.

AB European Studies
Minor in French Studies
Minor in Hispanic Studies

I’m done with college. Time to sleep.

Xoxo
Samantha Jean

What makes me feel infinite

This post is dedicated to my friends and every moment I spend with them. I haven’t had time to blog since last week because I’ve just been so busy! Allow me to walk you through what happened for the first part of last week! 🙂

March 18
We had our practice for graduation. I was really looking forward to it because I was going to see my friends again 🙂 It was just to early though! I wasn’t used to waking up at 6 in the morning. HAHA (excuse me for being a couch potato) We ended at around 11am with our tummies grumbling and sweat dripping down our faces. After the grad practice, I had lunch with my blockmates at Kenny Roger’s. I was so hungry, I ate a lot again compared to my friends! Oops! After that, I brought Mima and her brother, Johann, to the University of the Philippines because Johann had to audition for the UP College of Music. I dropped them off first and had to submit some UP Law stuff for my brother (In case you didn’t know, he passed Law School! :D). After that, I went back to where Mima and Johann were. The strings section were auditioning that time. Johann was going to play the classical guitar, and it was so nice listening to the people play. It was like a lullaby; I didn’t want to leave. HAHA. Eventually, I had to because I had to get ready for my dance teacher’s birthday celebration at the dance studio. It was a really fine way to cap off the night. I was dancing for the heck of it, without having to worry about people watching or stress at school or at home. I was just dancing for fun. Here are some pictures documenting my day! 🙂

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Taken during our graduation practice! The stage looked so pretty during the grad day itself! 🙂 

IMG_6096Taken at the dance studio with the people who helped me survive my term as president for the ADSC. Thank you so much!! I will miss you guys! I will try to visit as often as I can 🙂 

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With the new ADSC boys. Thank you for your enthusiasm. I hope that you guys won’t quit! When I visit, I hope you guys will be dancing circles around me! HAHA 

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Here’s a picture of Dance Instructors dancing to KPop Music…

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….and here are a few ADSC members trying to copy them. HAHA

March 19
SLEEPOVER WITH G1! That was what happend last Tuesday. HAHA We agreed that we would meet at 11am, but most of the people arrived at 6pm. (Boo, you whores! haha) Nevertheless, it was fun and all we did was laugh, eat, quote Pitch Perfect, cry (A LITTLE!!!), and just talk. Oh, and it was Gruta’s first sleepover ever IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. I’m so glad that she was able to finally sleepover! Here are pictures from the awesome night!

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Because we arrived a little passed 11am (as what was agreed upon! haha), my blockmates had time to finish up their dedications for the rest of the block. 

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We watched Pitch Perfect because no sleepover now would be complete without it. We watched it while waiting for other people to arrive. 

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After the movie, the girls and I got hungry and decided to walk to one of the restaurants nearby. It took us longer than expected because some of them had to scream and run around whenever they saw a cockroach. HAHA. 

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After dinner, we walked back home and surprised 3 of our blockmates with cupcakes! 🙂 They graduated with honors and we are all so proud of them! (LtoR: Karen, our Magna Cum Laude and Program Awardee, Lanz (not in picture so we had to use his grad pic instead), honorable mention, and Mikee, honorable mention) 

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We then went into more serious things when we started to talk about life, family, friends, school, and love. 

Thank you for the past four years, girls + Lanz. No goodbyes, only, “See you soon!”

March 20
SENIOR SEND-OFF! My Uni has this tradition to send off the graduating seniors. They call in the Blue Roast (Roast because they had to roast a calf or two to feed us! lol) It was one of the best nights of my life, I swear! I spent it with the people that I love, and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I felt that our sisterhood and friendship with other people become stronger and I know that it’ll last a lifetime. We ate, laughed, cried (this time, A LOT!!!), sang, and just enjoyed the night. We were given blue roses to give to whoever meant to most to us, the person who was a true friend, the person who became more than a friend…the list is endless Again, here are some pictures!

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To the person I gave my Blue Rose to, thank you for the past year 🙂 Also, thank you for slow dancing with me. That my first time to slow dance EVER, and I’m glad that I shared the experience with you!

IMG_6158With one of the best girl friends you could ask for. Thank you for the crazy, spontaneous nights. I love you so much, Ms. Ganda! Keep in touch, okay? 

IMG_61612009, we only had 3 guys in the block. Two guys left the next year and the one who stayed turned out to be gay. 3 years later, we welcomed our arms to the best guys you will ever meet. They are protective, funny and are under our control. (semi chos) HAHA 

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I gave another rose to this cutie! He came out of the closet during our sophomore year. I still remember the night when he messaged first 7 people from the block. I was lost for words, and I wasn’t able to sleep. Nonetheless, we accepted him whole heartedly. I gave my rose to Lanz because he is our dakilang boyfriend. haha He was all our boyfriend before some of us found real ones. HAHA. He cared for each of us and always wanted the best for us. Thank you, Lanz. I love you so much! 

IMG_6163To the crazy, weird, sabaw moments we shared….

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… to opening ourselves up to love and to sharing every kilig moment …

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… to finally having the courage to admit to the people that we love …

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… to finally closing old wounds …

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… and to celebrating friendship (friendship nga lang ba? :> haha)..Never have I felt that alive. I only do when I’m with you guys! I hope to see you guys in the big leagues. I wish that you will choose your happiness first. I don’t want you guys living miserable lives! hihi I’m so excited to see what life has in store for us. I can’t wait until our paths will cross again. I love each and everyone of you…to infinity and beyond!


As I have said, this post is dedicated to them: ADSC, G1, and FoG1s. Thank you for making my stay in the Ateneo more bearable. I cannot wait to see you guys again. I miss you guys already!!!

See you soon! 😉

xoxo
Samantha Jean 

P.S. Pics and whatever about graduation on a different post! hihi

I don’t really want Friday to come

On Friday, March 22, 2013, I will be graduating from Uni. I’ve waited for that day ever since I started my Freshman Year. Finally, I get my reward for the four years I’ve walked willingly and sometimes unwillingly from class to class, for a billion sleepless nights, for all the studying and not studying, for all the rants about lazy professors and boring ones, for all the eureka moments, and for all the emotions I’ve released on campus.

Although I want the academic part of my life to be over, I really don’t want Friday to come. After Friday, God knows when I’ll be seeing my blockmates, my boyfriend, my undergrad friends, my dance sport club babies, and FoG1s again.

This is what I hate about graduating. You’ll have to start all over again, in my case when I enter the next stage of life: FINDING A JOB. If I do find a job immediately, I’ll will not know anyone at first, I will have to introduce who I am again, make a new routine, and wait until everything is familiar already. If I don’t find a job, I might as well be occupied looking even harder and thinking about what and how my friends are doing, when will I see them again, are they in the same plight as I am, etc. etc.

I know that we will still communicate with each other, I’m sure of it. It’s just going to be different, after four years of seeing the same faces every day and night, by Friday, I will barely see them again. And that’s what scares me the most. 

Maybe we should have monthly reunions or something. I really cannot say goodbye to my blockmates. I consider them my sisters. Four years of friendship may seem short to some, but we have sealed it to last forever.

My boyfriend’s going back to Seattle on the 31st. He said that he’ll stay there for a month and a half and come back here in the Philippines. That’s waaaaaay better than the whole it-might-take-years-before-we-see-each-other idea that we both had a couple months ago. It’s great and everything that he’s coming back and all here in Manila. The problem I think is on my side. LOL. My hometown is a city outside of Manila. I do not know when I will go back to Manila. We’ll figure it out, love! 🙂

As to my undergrad friends, I will visit as often as I can! I want to hear stories from you guys – your own encounters now with lower batches. I cannot wait!

It just sucks that I won’t be seeing them on a daily basis. Time to make an effort to make sure that I almost always will.

Til the next entry,
xoxo
Samantha Jean

My Saturday Dedicated to Dance

If you guys read my previous posts, you’d know that I competed last Saturday. It was my first ever dance sport competition, and I had a blast! Although, it wasn’t a big of a competition as I’d expected it to be, it was still an amazing experience. Here are a few pictures of and my amazing partner, Jan 🙂
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578584_10200784732923683_1977334797_nWe won 2nd out of……..3. LOL There were supposed to be 5 couples dancing for the event we joined but 1 couple didn’t show up and the partner of the other couple didn’t make it in time. My friend said at least we were still able to beat someone, so that’s good. I think. Whatever, it is! HAHA Thank you to the UP Dance Sport Society for the invitation and more power to you guys in the future!

After we got our award, I went to another venue where there was another dance sport competition. Other Ateneo Dance Sport Club members were there competing. The competition was 3 hours late! All the club members were already cranky. I felt bad for them. I got there are around 4pm and they still weren’t able to dance. The competition was suppose to finish at 4. hah.

I had to leave at 5pm because I had to be at Savannah Moon Dance Studio by 6pm to host the PE Finals. I didn’t even know what I was doing while hosting. HAHA. Nevertheless, I was still able to pull it off.

The PE finals was more of like a performance night than anything really. Here are a few pictures!

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That’s my Dance Coach, Belinda Adora, doing her thaaaang. I remember watching her segment on National Geographic Channel where they did a show about Ballroom Dancing in Asia. I wished that I could get to just at least meet her someday. Now, I’m her student, and I feel very fortunate to be guided by her.

9e92a7408a1e11e2b0f722000a9f18db_7 ccd187e88a1e11e2b72422000aa821e3_7Here’s the Club…well some of them! They’re the same people who competed! They just had to rush from the competition place to Savannah Moon! STRESS! They’re mostly beginners, and I am so proud that they were able to pull the dance off! Even Ma’am Bel was proud of them. I hope to see the same faces whenever I visit the school!

607398708a1e11e28d2722000a1f8fa0_7These are Belinda Adora’s Step Kids! They are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. You can watch their videos on youtube! (just type Belinda Adora’s Step Kids) You’ll see just how good they are! They’ve been dancing for about 5 1/2 years now.

Well, there you have it, my saturday dedicated to dance! That was one of the best days of my life 🙂 That was also my last day with the Club, and I’d have to say even though they were a handful, I am still very happy that I got to meet each and everyone of them. Good luck next school year, guys! I’m sure you guys will do great 🙂

I don’t know when I’ll be dancing again. My coach asked me if she could just take me in and continue to train me for more Latin Ballroom chaos. That sounds very tempting, but we’ll have to see what else is out there for me.

Til the next entry,

xoxo
samantha jean