“Well, I hope you know you have all the time in the world.”

My dad texted me that after I asked my parents, for the first time, if I could have dinner with Marco on Tuesday. His mom’s making BBQ ribs or something along those lines.

He got mad at me a couple of months ago and said, “Why do you have to rush? You’re smart and you have this whole future ahead of you!!!” My friends said it’s not like liking someone is going to compromise my future. I know that. He knows that. It’s like in the Top 10 Rules in whatever book it’s supposed to be in. I have my dreams and goals, and they still have not changed even when Marco walked into the picture. I still want to go to Europe. I still want to do everything on that things to do before you die list. So, relax, Dad.

First of all, it’s not like I’m getting married tomorrow.  It’s not like I’m moving to Seattle and starting a whole new life. I’m 20, and I know I have the world at my fingertips. Just let me be.   Second of all, this is all just normal stuff, isn’t it? (Isn’t it?) Boy likes girl-girl likes boy kind of stuff. Lastly, I’m happy. I hope you could see that.

Well, I guess this is a normal thing for dads, right? He can’t help but to be super over protective, especially towards his daughters.

But, enough on feeling blaah about what my dad said. They both allowed me to have dinner with Marco & his family anyway. So, yeeeeey 🙂 Baby steps. Wish me luck!

xoxo

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What makes me feel infinite

This post is dedicated to my friends and every moment I spend with them. I haven’t had time to blog since last week because I’ve just been so busy! Allow me to walk you through what happened for the first part of last week! 🙂

March 18
We had our practice for graduation. I was really looking forward to it because I was going to see my friends again 🙂 It was just to early though! I wasn’t used to waking up at 6 in the morning. HAHA (excuse me for being a couch potato) We ended at around 11am with our tummies grumbling and sweat dripping down our faces. After the grad practice, I had lunch with my blockmates at Kenny Roger’s. I was so hungry, I ate a lot again compared to my friends! Oops! After that, I brought Mima and her brother, Johann, to the University of the Philippines because Johann had to audition for the UP College of Music. I dropped them off first and had to submit some UP Law stuff for my brother (In case you didn’t know, he passed Law School! :D). After that, I went back to where Mima and Johann were. The strings section were auditioning that time. Johann was going to play the classical guitar, and it was so nice listening to the people play. It was like a lullaby; I didn’t want to leave. HAHA. Eventually, I had to because I had to get ready for my dance teacher’s birthday celebration at the dance studio. It was a really fine way to cap off the night. I was dancing for the heck of it, without having to worry about people watching or stress at school or at home. I was just dancing for fun. Here are some pictures documenting my day! 🙂

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Taken during our graduation practice! The stage looked so pretty during the grad day itself! 🙂 

IMG_6096Taken at the dance studio with the people who helped me survive my term as president for the ADSC. Thank you so much!! I will miss you guys! I will try to visit as often as I can 🙂 

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With the new ADSC boys. Thank you for your enthusiasm. I hope that you guys won’t quit! When I visit, I hope you guys will be dancing circles around me! HAHA 

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Here’s a picture of Dance Instructors dancing to KPop Music…

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….and here are a few ADSC members trying to copy them. HAHA

March 19
SLEEPOVER WITH G1! That was what happend last Tuesday. HAHA We agreed that we would meet at 11am, but most of the people arrived at 6pm. (Boo, you whores! haha) Nevertheless, it was fun and all we did was laugh, eat, quote Pitch Perfect, cry (A LITTLE!!!), and just talk. Oh, and it was Gruta’s first sleepover ever IN HER ENTIRE LIFE. I’m so glad that she was able to finally sleepover! Here are pictures from the awesome night!

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Because we arrived a little passed 11am (as what was agreed upon! haha), my blockmates had time to finish up their dedications for the rest of the block. 

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We watched Pitch Perfect because no sleepover now would be complete without it. We watched it while waiting for other people to arrive. 

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After the movie, the girls and I got hungry and decided to walk to one of the restaurants nearby. It took us longer than expected because some of them had to scream and run around whenever they saw a cockroach. HAHA. 

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After dinner, we walked back home and surprised 3 of our blockmates with cupcakes! 🙂 They graduated with honors and we are all so proud of them! (LtoR: Karen, our Magna Cum Laude and Program Awardee, Lanz (not in picture so we had to use his grad pic instead), honorable mention, and Mikee, honorable mention) 

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We then went into more serious things when we started to talk about life, family, friends, school, and love. 

Thank you for the past four years, girls + Lanz. No goodbyes, only, “See you soon!”

March 20
SENIOR SEND-OFF! My Uni has this tradition to send off the graduating seniors. They call in the Blue Roast (Roast because they had to roast a calf or two to feed us! lol) It was one of the best nights of my life, I swear! I spent it with the people that I love, and I couldn’t ask for anything more. I felt that our sisterhood and friendship with other people become stronger and I know that it’ll last a lifetime. We ate, laughed, cried (this time, A LOT!!!), sang, and just enjoyed the night. We were given blue roses to give to whoever meant to most to us, the person who was a true friend, the person who became more than a friend…the list is endless Again, here are some pictures!

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To the person I gave my Blue Rose to, thank you for the past year 🙂 Also, thank you for slow dancing with me. That my first time to slow dance EVER, and I’m glad that I shared the experience with you!

IMG_6158With one of the best girl friends you could ask for. Thank you for the crazy, spontaneous nights. I love you so much, Ms. Ganda! Keep in touch, okay? 

IMG_61612009, we only had 3 guys in the block. Two guys left the next year and the one who stayed turned out to be gay. 3 years later, we welcomed our arms to the best guys you will ever meet. They are protective, funny and are under our control. (semi chos) HAHA 

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I gave another rose to this cutie! He came out of the closet during our sophomore year. I still remember the night when he messaged first 7 people from the block. I was lost for words, and I wasn’t able to sleep. Nonetheless, we accepted him whole heartedly. I gave my rose to Lanz because he is our dakilang boyfriend. haha He was all our boyfriend before some of us found real ones. HAHA. He cared for each of us and always wanted the best for us. Thank you, Lanz. I love you so much! 

IMG_6163To the crazy, weird, sabaw moments we shared….

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… to opening ourselves up to love and to sharing every kilig moment …

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… to finally having the courage to admit to the people that we love …

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… to finally closing old wounds …

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… and to celebrating friendship (friendship nga lang ba? :> haha)..Never have I felt that alive. I only do when I’m with you guys! I hope to see you guys in the big leagues. I wish that you will choose your happiness first. I don’t want you guys living miserable lives! hihi I’m so excited to see what life has in store for us. I can’t wait until our paths will cross again. I love each and everyone of you…to infinity and beyond!


As I have said, this post is dedicated to them: ADSC, G1, and FoG1s. Thank you for making my stay in the Ateneo more bearable. I cannot wait to see you guys again. I miss you guys already!!!

See you soon! 😉

xoxo
Samantha Jean 

P.S. Pics and whatever about graduation on a different post! hihi

LAST CANCER UPDATE

I wrote Cancer Update 3.0 5 days ago (March 12, 2013). I told you guys that we couldn’t do anything anymore and that we just had to wait for my uncle to leave us when its time. A lot has happened then.
**This will be a long post because I will try to be as detailed as possible. 

March 13, 2013

We visited my uncle just as we usually do. He was transfered out of the ICU and placed in his own private room. All my family members from my dad’s side were there except my uncle’s kids because they still had work. We were all there talking and just enjoying our time together with my uncle near us. Little by little, everyone started going home, saying their goodbyes. My dad, mom, siblings, together with two of my aunts and a cousin and I decided to go out for dinner. My uncle’s son was assigned to stay in the hospital for that night. We left at around 10pm. My dad told my brother that they would go back to the hospital at around 11pm to give a pulse/oxygen intake reader for my uncle to use instead of the ECG reader.

At 11pm, we were finished with dinner, and we went our separate ways. My dad and brother dropped me, my mom and sister at home, got the pulse/oxygen level reader and drove back to the hospital. At 11:30pm, they were back home and everything was normal.

Things went downhill from 12:15mn, March 14, 2013.

March 14, 2013

12:15a.m. – My dad was sleeping, I was playing with my younger sister, and my brother just walked into my parents room, and my mom was checking if my sister’s homework was correct.  All of a sudden, my mom got a call from my cousin, Jean (my uncle’s daughter), that my uncle went under cardiac arrest. I remember looking at my sister and we both had a what-do-we-do expression. My dad was getting dressed, my brother was ready to leave, my mom was getting her purse and I decided to go with them too. My sister had to stay at home because she had to go to school in the morning.

12:30a.m. – We arrived at the hospital. My dad didn’t even get to turn off the engines yet when my brother and I opened the doors immediately and ran to my uncle’s room as fast as possible. We passed by the ER Room, the cashier, the hallways – we passed by so many people looking at us in despair because they knew that something has happened to whoever we were running to in the hospital at 12:30 in the morning. I reached the private rooms first, and I saw my cousin, Mark (my uncle’s son), almost in tears right outside my uncle’s room. I gave him a big hug, and he left because he was trying to contact his sister. I looked into the room and all I saw were these people with white coats. Honestly, I thought he was gone because they were just standing there. I couldn’t go in because I didn’t want to see him yet. My mom arrived and went in. She talked with the doctors and nurses. My dad showed up next. He told me and my brother to comfort Kuya Mark because at this point, he was already crying hysterically. He thought the same thing I did.

12:40a.m – I hear the clacking of slippers against the hospital floor, and I knew immediately that Ate Jean was rushing to see her dad. My brother, Kuya Mark and I ran to her. Ate Jean stopped at the doorway and froze immediately. Kuya Mark hugged her because she was just hard like a statue. She might’ve thought the same thing I did. My uncle’s wife arrived a few minutes after Ate Jean did. She couldn’t believe her eyes either. She screamed a deafening scream because she thought, like I and my cousins did, that the love of her life was gone.

12:45a.m – My mother informed my uncle’s immediate family that the doctors were able to revive him. I was trying to calm my cousins down while my dad and brother were seated right outside the room. All the doctors were filing out of the room, and it was our turn to get a good look at him. There was blood everywhere, and he looked more helpless than ever. I never really liked to look at my uncle like that. One, because I didn’t want to see him all lifeless and stuff and two, he looked so much like my dad I just didn’t want my dad to be ever in that position.

1:00am – My uncle’s immediate family were talking to him. They were saying their goodbyes and that they would love him forever. One of my aunt’s arrived too (Tita Emmy). At this point, we were just sitting inside the room (Except for my dad, he always stayed outside. I think he didn’t want me or anyone else to see him cry. Also, he didn’t want to see his brother that way) staring at each other, staring at nothing. The doctors gave my uncle medicine to help his heart continue working, and they also attached a machine ventilator to help him breath. The only thing you could here in the room were sobbing, the beeps from the ECG machine, and the sound of the machine ventilator. It was eerily unpleasant. My family made a decision that if ever her were to have a heart attack again or if the medicines ran out, that the doctors were to not revive him anymore. Basically, we just bought 12hours more with my uncle. That was the most important 12 hours of my life.

2:00a.m. – Everyone decided to sleepover at the hospital, except my dad. We told him to rest at home. We rented another room for us to sleep in. I don’t think anyone could really sleep at the time. I tried, but an hour later, I walked back to my uncle’s room.

3:00 – 7:30a.m.  – I found out that the cardinals elected a new pope. We decided to watch the happenings in Rome. We told my uncle we had a new pope and what was going on in Rome. I kept holding his hand the whole time. At around 4am, we found out who the pope was, and my mom told me to get some sleep while she and Tita Emmy will stay in my uncle’s room to keep watch. I was only able to get some sleep at around 5:30am.

7:30a.m – My mom woke me up and told me that my uncle’s medicines were almost finished. I immediately got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and walked sleepily to my uncle’s room.

8:00a.m. – My uncle’s medicines were completely finished. I braced myself because I thought that once the medicines were gone, he would start to get weak. Apparently, the medicines stayed in his system for 5 more hours. My uncle’s immediate family started to cry again so everyone started to cry too. Ate Jean called her son on the phone. She wanted him to talk to his grandpa. Her son knew that his grandpa was very sick. This was what he told my uncle: “Goodbye, grandpa. I’ll miss you. You’re an angel now. Watch over me and Rian (his sister). I love you very much.” When I heard that, I tried so hard to hold back my tears. At least Gabby was able to know his grandpa.

9:00a.m – 12:30p.m.  – That was the longest wait of my life. We kept talking to my uncle, holding his hand…we just made him feel that his family was there for him, fighting with him. There wasn’t much that we could do but wait. My dad was always outside the room. I went out occasionally just to check up on him. I knew he was hurting so much inside. Ate Jean’s husband arrived and informed us that he brought the kids with him. They were inside the car with their maids. My brother and I wanted to say hi to them so the three of us (me, my brother and Kuya Riel) walked to the parking lot. I was so happy to see their bright faces smiling up at us. We stayed in the parking lot for 10 minutes. We went back to my uncle’s room at 12:30p.m.

12:30p.m.- 1:05p.m.  – “His heart rate dropped to 35.” The smile from when I saw my niece and nephew immediately disappeared. At the same time, my uncle’s eldest daughter, Ate Farrah, just arrived from Lingayen (about a 2 hour drive to our city). We all knew that it was close. I kept watching his heart graph on the ECG machine. It stayed on 35 for a while. I’d like to believe that he waited for his eldest daughter to arrive before he said goodbye. A couple minutes later, his HR went up to 50, dropped to 35, went up to 40, dropped to 35, dropped to 27, then 23, then, 19, then —–.

1:05p.m – I saw how slowly the color in him was fading away. I saw how slowly the life in him was disappearing. That was the first time had someone pass away right before my eyes. I decided to leave the room with one of my cousins, and accompany my dad outside. My cousin and I were both crying and my dad was being strong for all of us. My dad told us to pick ourselves up because we had to be strong too for the family. We had to help out in any way that we can. I did that immediately.

UN-TIMED:
I entered the room and heard the eery long beep in the room signifying that a life has ended. The doctors were removing the medicines and tubes attached to his nose and throat. All my family members left the room one by one and moved on to the other room that we rented to understand what just happened. I stayed in my uncle’s room to help pack up his stuff and everyone else’s things.

The hospital people cleaned my uncle up, wrapped him up like a mummy and brought him down to the ground floor because they were to bring him immediately to the funeral parlor.

And just like that, my uncle was gone. It didn’t even feel as if we waited for almost 24 hours. It felt much much shorter than that. Tita Emmy told my mom that my brother broke down in the room that we rented. He said that all the brothers of my dad here in the Philippines are gone now and he couldn’t help but think that our dad could be gone anytime too. I try to avoid the thought of my dad, mom or anyone else dying because I always think of my little sister and how she will handle things.

We were all at the funeral parlor at around 4p.m. My mom and I were the one’s choosing the coffin. After that was finished, my mom and I decided to go see my uncle being embalmed. Now, before you all go WTF YOU WANTED TO SEE YOUR UNCLE BE EMBALMED YOU ARE ONE SICK MOTHERFCKER, I am not scared about that sort of stuff. I actually think its very interesting.

My family decided to go home and shower because we stayed overnight in the hospital with barely any sleep and were still wearing the same clothes the night before. After my mom and I cleaned up, we, plus my dad headed back to the funeral parlor. My brother passed out on his bed. He was too tired.

Up until today, images of my uncle on his hospital bed randomly pop up in my head. I am still very sad that he is gone. I always think about how my dad is doing. Tito Billy was the last brother he had here in the Philippines. All of their other siblings are in the US. My dad will have to act as sort of a dad to my everyone here now. At least three of his siblings will be flying from the States to visit. I hope that’ll liven up his mood. xxx

Rest in Peace, Tito Billy. At least now you are no longer suffering, no longer worrying, and you are now at peace with Lola, Lola, Tito Ocay, Tito Bing and Tito Pat. 

Thank you to, you, who made it to the end of this post! 😀 May your live your life to the fullest. Take care.

xoxo
Samantha Jean

CANCER UPDATE 3.0

Mom just told me that there’s nothing we can do now for my uncle. Doctors said if they tried to remove the cancer seeds in his brain, that they might puncture a vein or something.  Mom just told me and my sister to wait for his time to go and that we should start preparing ourselves for when it’ll actually happen.

UGH HOW TO DEAL. CANCER YOU ARE ONE OF THE WORST THINGS EVER AND I HOPE PEOPLE WILL FIND A CURE ASAP. I HATE HOW CANCER HAS TAKEN THE LIVES OF SO MANY PEOPLE ALREADY. GUH

If you could, to whoever is reading this, please pray, wish or whatever is it that you do that my uncle doesn’t feel any pain from now until that time comes. I hope that he doesn’t feel anything. I hope that he’s just comfortably sleeping.

I need a miracle.

CANCER UPDATE 2.0

Back story is here and also here. Just to get ahead of everyone else, I don’t have cancer. It’s my uncle who does.

The last time I blogged about his cancer journey was October of last year. Its March 2013 now, and things just got a lot worse.

To share with everyone what has been going on, from October 2012-February 2013, my uncle was doing fine. He was gaining weight, getting stronger and was going back to his normal self again. We were all glad that he was getting better. Mom even said that the cancer cells were actually going away.

But things took a turn for the worse a few days after Valentine’s Day. My family had valentine’s dinner together, and they told me that my uncle was strong as ever. We didn’t really expect anything bad to happen. After Valentine’s Day, he just didn’t feel like eating at all. He started to become very weak and dizzy.

They brought him to the hospital, and sooner or later, I got a text from my mom saying he’s in the ICU and, get this, under a coma. He has fluid in his head because, according to the MRI results, he has cancer seeds in his brain too, which are blocking the passage way of the fluid. There are a few times where my cousins said that he’d open his eyes for a couple of seconds or he’d move a bit, then stop moving.

My aunt (his wife) just can’t compose herself. She’s been crying everyday since they brought him to the hospital. We’re all trying to be strong for her. My mom spends most of her time there just to keep her company and cheer her up. Also, she’s there to explain all the medical stuff to my aunt.

I saw my uncle for the first time again since December just this Sunday. I did not expect to see him looking so weak and just helpless. I couldn’t stay in the ICU for a long time. I just stayed for a minute or two. If I stayed longer, I would’ve cried and kept on crying because I didn’t want my uncle to be in such a horrible state anymore. I want him to get better. Also, he resembles my dad. I saw my dad’s face in him a couple of times, and the thought of having either one of them in that situation just killed me.

Today, he had surgery because they had to put a tube in his throat so that he can breath better. My family got a private room for him too because my dad thought that the ICU was just too germ ridden after all the deaths that happened while my uncle was in there (Side story, my mom said that there was a woman who was already in the ICU and she died already, but they revived her. My mom helped. She’s under observation now. And just yesterday, there was a woman who died because of untreated UTI – sepsis. Her kids were there too, crying like crazy. I felt really bad for them. There’s another patient in the ICU who has problems with his colon and has a few dead toes because blood circulation in his body just isn’t good.)

I think my dad’s preparing himself of for the worst, but of course, he’s still hoping for a miracle to happen. We all are.

I hope you all are doing fine. ‘Til the next entry,
xoxo samantha jean

Teen Angst

I’m just so glad to be out of the puberty-high school-everyone-hates-me-I-don’t-have-a-friend-me-against-the-world stage. I’d like to think that I am now more mature when it comes to the serious business, I think more rational, and try my best to weigh the pros and the cons. Also, I no longer try to fuss about petty things as much as I used to. I am 19 years old. Even if I’ve grown so much already, I know that I still have a long way to go.

I have a younger sister who just turned 12 last month. She is in the puberty-high school-everyone-hates-me-I-don’t-have-a-friend-me-against-the-world stage which is, and I think everyone will agree with me, the worst stage ever any human being has to go through.

She has been super cranky, moody, rude, etc. When my parents get mad at her for something that she did, she’d go to a corner and blame me or our older brother. I cannot tell you how much it sucks to be at the receiving end. (To my parents, I love you so much for putting up with my crap when I was younger!)

I know there’s so much to stress about at 12 years old – school, friends, boys, teachers, etc. Its that time in our lives where we actually try for the first time to find out who we are or who we want to be. Its where for the first time, we want to be independent but are afraid of the idea. Its that time in our lives where we realize that there is a bigger world out there just waiting to be explored.

Seeing as that I’ve gone through this stage already, I want to let my sister know that she can talk to me about anything. I mean, I try to be a super approachable sister as possible. I want to let her know that she doesn’t have to go through things alone.

I love you to the moon and back, Bree-f! 🙂

CANCER UPDATE

(To whoever is reading this, I don’t have cancer. Its my uncle (dad’s side) who has lung cancer. I’ve posted a post about it already a few weeks ago)

My uncle had his first chemo therapy already on October 14, I think. He’s going to have his second one on November 4. Mom keeps injecting medicines in him to increase his white blood cells. Its good for him. The only side effect is that it makes him super dizzy. 

He’s lost patches of hair already, and he always has to weak a mask now. His immediate family does everything they can to make things easier for him. They even drive him all the way to La Union just to eat at Matutina or go to the beach. I see him fighting which is good. 

He went to the cemetery today to plant stuff where my grandparents and uncles are buried. He whispered to my dad, “I’ll go to the cemetery to plant and maybe fix the place for me already.” Its stuff like that that just makes you want to scream to the sky and ask, ‘Lord, why?’

My dad’s super worried. He avoids his brother if he can because he doesn’t want to see him suffer. He told my mom before, ‘I don’t want to see him. All I do is just bury my brothers’.

We were having dinner at a restaurant one Saturday with my family. We were having a happy conversation when suddenly we fell silent. My dad just blurted out, “How are we going to make it easier for him? Instead of him living for a few more months, how can we extend that into a year?’ 

To whoever is reading this, I may not know you, but can I ask a favor? Can I ask you to pray for my uncle – for him to not suffer so much. Or if you are not the religious kind, to just wish or hope or whatever it is you do for him to spend the rest of life happily, worry-free. Thank you. 

P.S. I’m sorry this post is all over the place. I just typed what came to my mind. 

CANCER

It has taken the lives of many of my family members, and today, my mom told me that my favorite uncle (Tito Billy) on my dad’s side has been diagnosed with lung cancer. Mom said it could be stage 4 cancer now. His immediate family doesn’t know, and they will be given the bad news tomorrow.

I’ve seen what’s it done to my family – especially to my dad. Mom said he cried today.  It used to be him and 3 of his older brothers who were left here in the Philippines. His other siblings are all in the US. Sadly, two of my uncles lost their battle with cancer, and now its just my dad and Tito Billy left here.

I’m just really concerned/worried about:
First, my cousins and Tita Leslie, Tito Billy’s wife. I cannot imagine what it would feel like if someone told me that my dad had cancer.
Second, Tito Billy’s grandchildren. They’re really young and I don’t know how their going to grasp the whole idea of it.
Third, my dad. I don’t want him to lose his brother, especially the only sibling with whom he’s really in good terms with. The thought of him losing his brother and him being left alone here in the PH is just heart breaking.

I HATE CANCER SO MUCH. LORD, WHY WOULD YOU EVEN BURDEN US WITH SUCH A THING? PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY YOU WANT US TO SUFFER!! PLEASE. WHY DO YOU ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN TO YOUR PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY TO THOSE WHO ARE LIVING LIFE QUIETLY AND SO SIMPLE? NO ONE DESERVES THIS. EXPLAIN YOURSELF.

Forgive me for my faith is faltering. I told myself that I will not cry tonight. Challenge accepted.

xxxx

Hello, October

I’ve been rattling my brain for the past days trying to think of something to write about. I’m just really glad that it’s another start to a new month. I felt September dragged on for forever. Allow me to highlight the best things that has happened in the past weeks:

September 15, 2012 – Dissa’s 21st Birthday

I don’t know if we’re just really lazy or we’re starting to outgrow the party scene (just for the mean time!), but we just have fun anywhere now! Dissa invited us to her home and we ate really yummy food (thanks to her cousin!), played and drank the night away. We also shared stories, stuff that has been going on with our lives, etc.

It’s one of those nights where you wish time would just stop, and  you’d just soak in everything that’s happening around you.

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September 21, 2012 – FoG1 Party

Now, not many people understand the term FoG1. It is an acronym for ‘Friend of G1’ (If you have been out of the loop, G1 is my block in college). It is quite an honor to be dubbed as such (Well, we like to think we’re special!) On that evening, it was the first time for all our FoG1’s to meet and also for other G1 members to meet the other FoG1s.

We had the party at a McDonald’s in front of our school, and our party theme was ‘Toy Story’. It was one of the best nights of my life because it was one of those special moments where no f*ucks were given. We just wanted to let our hair down and enjoy each others company.

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September 28, 2012 – Perks of Being a Wallflower

I’ve read the book, and I’ve got to say I love it. Everyone was chewing their fingers off in anticipation for the movie. I mean, come on – Emma Watson AND Logan Lerman in one movie!!! That is just something difficult to comprehend. Although, my night was semi-ruined by this person who is now dead to me, I felt very lucky to have my friends listen to me and confort me when I was stressing out. (By the way, girls, I don’t think I ever got to say thank you to all of you. Thank you so much.)

The movie left me speechless. All I could think about was my life right now with my friends and how we could move mountains together if we wanted to. We are each others rocks, and I couldn’t help but think for a second what my life is going to be without G1……UNICORNS! I’m sorry. I had to distract you and myself. I just don’t want to think about that now. I may sound stupid, but the movie did make me feel infinite.

(I downloaded the soundtrack yesterday. You guys should to!)

September 28, 2012 – Love

After the movie, two of my closest friends finally became an item. I would say we were all high because we all looked stupid with huge smiles on our faces, but we didn’t care. We were just happy for our friends who finally found each other.

Goodbye, September. Hello, October.
Here’s wishing to better memories with the people I love the most. Also wishing that I don’t fail any of my subjects!

Til next time.

xxxx