I have risen from my grave to share with you all my current state of mind.
A little update about my life (,and I’m sorry that I feel like what you see most on my on-again-off-again blog are updates rather than something with more content):
– still studying languages in the University of the Philippines (which I would not like to brag as much, but more on that for another post)
– still dancing (yey!)
– I turned 22 eleven days ago hihi
– still no job (but I’m trying to work on that)
With that being said, notice the keyword «STILL». Although, I love what I’m doing (especially the dancing – There is no way that that’s ever going to end), I feel like I’m caught at a stand still. I feel like this happens to me at least once a year, and I just forget all the time and panic when one of these “mid-life crises” arise. Hah. I don’t know what it is, but lately I’ve just been feeling a tad bit robotic. I get up, get ready for school, go to school, come home from school, watch shows, surf the net, sleep. (I know, I know, if I want something to change, I literally have to change something, but just hear me out.)
Another keyword, rather, key-number is «22». I keep thinking I only have 8 years left ’til I turn 30, and God knows what’ll happen to me in those 8 years. Yikes! I feel like if I started sooner, if there could be any “sooner”, I would’ve done more things…just things in general.
I believe that these feelings always come up when I have a big decision to make in front of me that I am not even 20% sure of making. The semester coming to a close, and I have yet to decide if I want to study for another semester or apply for a job at the Department of Tourism (which is my only plan A so far). I’m on the fence because although I still want to advance on my language skills, I feel like I can do it now on my own without having to enroll in a university (or now enroll in the language centers in the city), but I don’t know how that will work out time and money-wise. (ayudenme). I still have a lot of thinking to do, still have a lot of advice to get, and all that.
But please, tell me that I’m not alone in this. Tell me that “It’s OK, it’s normal”. Tell me it isn’t just me.
PENSIVE 